How to Learn to Take Care of Yourself?

Psychologists and sociologists talk so often about the need to take care of yourself that the very concept of this care is becoming more and more blurred. Usually, it means something that brings us pleasure. “You are completely exhausted at work. It’s time for you to take care of yourself. Do yoga. Take a walk, it’s such a nice weather outside! Go to a beauty salon. Take a fragrant bath!”

It is very important to pamper yourself from time to time. When you feel overwhelmed, sometimes you need to literally force yourself to relax and have fun. Sometimes it resembles a bitter pill that you really don’t want to drink, even though it is necessary for recovery.

But are simply pleasant activities always enough for us? In fact, the concept of self-care is much broader. And often means not pleasant things at all. This concern is associated with working on yourself, with adult actions, and making difficult decisions, for which you may be judged. But sooner or later, you will realize that these decisions are indispensable. So how do you take good care of yourself?

1. Take Care of Your Body

Going to the dentist, for example, is the most unpleasant experience. Is there even one person on Earth who likes them? Many of us visit the dentist at best once every three years. And about trips to many other doctors, it’s not worth talking about at all.

The hardest thing is to force yourself to go to the doctor when you are depressed, or something is bothering you. The depressed part of you doesn’t care that you might be sick. In fact, it doesn’t care at all. In a state of anxiety, making an appointment is generally scary. What if they tell you that something is wrong with you? What if the nurse is rude to you? What if the doctor puts pressure on you? What if you have to go to the doctor alone for the rest of your days because you can’t find your soul mate? Yes, it sounds silly, but sometimes many of us have such thoughts.

As you age, you gradually begin to question your invulnerability. You understand that you still have to pick up some sores.

In this regard, taking care of yourself means that you need to see a doctor in a timely manner when you feel that something is wrong with you, as well as remembering to make preventive visits to the doctor. Even if you consider yourself a superman and it’s hard for you to admit that sometimes you need medical help.

2. Don’t Be Afraid to Say No

Sometimes it can be very hard to say no. Especially if you are used to achieving your goals and doing everything carefully. It is not easy to change a job that is not suitable for you, to give up a difficult relationship, to give a friend a dog that you do not have enough time to care for. You have to admit that you are not coping and that something is beyond your capabilities. And this is extremely annoying.

When psychologists advise setting boundaries, avoiding overwhelming workloads, and avoiding over-committing yourself, they seem to be talking about simple and obvious things. In fact, it’s not at all fun to explain to your boss why you are increasingly taking sick days off. It’s even less satisfying to finally admit that you can’t pull off a full-time job and leave your current position.

It is important to understand that sometimes, in order to take care of yourself, you need to ignore the possible negative assessment of others and realize what you need.

Yes, you may feel weak, lazy and irresponsible. But deep down you will know that you are doing the right thing. And over time, you will only be convinced that you have made the right choice.

3. Ask for Help

Often, in order to ask someone for help, you need to overcome your fears and step out of your comfort zone. It’s really not that easy. You can never accurately predict how other people will react. They have the right to refuse you.

And even if you have great relationships with family and friends, asking for help is still not easy. You will worry about making your parents worry about you, and whether your depression will be passed on to your friends. Or people close to you may feel that their care and love are not enough for you, that they are doing something wrong. It may seem that in this way, you will have to choose between silently enduring your pain and inflicting pain on others.

But this is an erroneous opinion. Your loved ones will experience much more if you hide the reasons for your experiences from them. Yes, the art of asking for help needs to be learned. But if you try to do it, you will understand that everything is actually not so scary.

4. Work on Relationships

Sometimes it also needs to be done to take care of yourself. Working on a relationship means being honest and open with your loved ones about what you need, want, and don’t want. In addition, you should make every effort to support the people you love and show them your love.

Even if you are depressed and you literally have no time for anyone or anything, this does not make you the center of the universe and does not give you the right to act like a complete asshole.

Take care of your loved ones, because these are the people who care about you.

5. Don’t Forget Financial Matters

Everything is simple and clear here. Pay your bills. Sometimes finances are very difficult to control. Especially if you can’t pull yourself together in other matters. Sometimes it can be scary to even check the status of your bank account, because then you will condemn yourself for how much money you spent on useless things or lunch at a cafe.

Find a way to track your expenses. If you are sure that you have enough money for everything you need, then you will feel much more confident.

If you succeed in all of the above, you can be proud of yourself. At some point in our lives, taking care of ourselves in such not-quite-pleasant ways is especially difficult. But you can do it.